Substitutions for actual
considered and articulated ideas.
“Driving results.” The use of
the words drive, driving and driver should be restricted to operation of a
motor vehicle, horse and buggy or a big golf club, but they’ve become favorites for sales managers for
use in job postings.
When used in this way, the word has the same meaning as that in the
compound word slavedriver. “Driving sales, driving performance, driving
production, driving growth…” Do they have any other words available to
them?
“That’s wrong on so many levels.” The next
time you hear this WAK phrase, politely ask the speaker to identify just one level. If s/he can, ask if s/he can name another.
In most cases, the spouter of this throw-away can’t articulate even the
first.
“LOL, OMG…” These shortcuts and others
like them, invented by adolescents for texting convenience, have been widely
adopted by otherwise intelligent adults and applied in unnecessary response to
someone who had nothing much to say but texted or posted it on Facebook anyway.
“Forging
relationships.” Another favorite of
the sales management crowd. Forging is
something done with a big hammer, an anvil and a red-hot iron rod, none of
which should ever be used when attempting to develop either business or interpersonal
relationships.
“Experience.” This is a
word businesses use when they have nothing else to say. “You’ll want to buy from us because we’re experienced.” This may be a good reason for a high school nerd
to accept an offer of a date with a very cute cheerleader, but in the business
world, it rings pretty hollow. Don’t we
all have experience? Give me another
reason!
“It’s durable.” Yet another
favorite of salespeople selling furniture, vacuum cleaners, cars, tools, you
name it. Ask what durable means in the
current context and you’ll either hear that same word repeated or you’ll hear
something that might better have been offered the first time.
“Leverage.” What in the name of heaven
does this mean the way we usually hear it these days? And how did this noun become a verb? “The company is completely leveraged…” Why don’t you just say, “We’re up to our ears
in debt?”
“You have my thoughts and prayers.” Oh,
really? When I hear this, I suspect in most cases that you’ll forget me as soon as I’m out of sight. Do you actually pray? I know there are people who have thoughts and
many who pray, and some of their thoughts and prayers are effectual and
fervent. But you might take your deep concern
one more step and give me a hand up when I’m down.